Passive Aggressive Response to the Kid Kicking the Back of My Seat While Flying To Hollywood

My flight to Hollywood has me sitting a row in front of a mom and her two youngsters. Her hands are full as both children appear to be under the age of 6. If I guess their ages, I'd put them at 6 and 4. The four year old was seated directly behind me. I know how hard it is to be cooped up in a small space at that age as you have so much energy that needs to be expended. So I don't do much about the sporadic kicks to the back of my seat during the flight. They are just annoying enough though to make me sigh with relief when the familiar "skid skid" of the planes wheels announce our touch-down to the ground in Los Angeles. But, that's when the kid begins using both feet together on the back of my chair. Creating a sort of battering ram.

Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick...

The man sitting next to me looks at me with eyebrows raised. We both wait a few moments expecting the mother to say something to her little "darling" of a boy.

Kick, kick, kick, kick...

No response. Thinking that she must be in the lavatory I glance behind me. Nope, she is sitting there staring at something apparently very interesting on her empty lap. By now my entire seat is rocking as the kid really gets into a rhythm.

Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick...

Paul Cram Actor Everyone within a seven seat vicinity can hear my chair being kicked. So I take a passive aggressive approach. Turn to the guy next to me and say loud enough for people in several rows to hear, "Gosh, you know how annoying it is when kids are obnoxious and their parent acts as if nothings going on?"
You'd have thought I zapped the mom or something with the way she snapped out of whatever reverie she was in and turned to her son and told him to stop doing that.

All in all, not a bad flight. And that mom did a fine enough job. Which of us hasn't zoned out sometimes to the obvious? And hey, she did a whole lot better than the last time I was on a plane with a kid when the mom gave her son a whistle to play with during the flight. (Oh, I wish I could say I am kidding.)


  1. I always wonder what exactly the parents are thinking when their kids are: kicking the back of seats/running around yelling in doc's waiting room/bumping into your at supermarket/coughing all over you and not covering mouth, etc. Perhaps they've given up and surrendered long ago, and have become immune to the noise and terrorism after years of torture. Or perhaps it's a case of: 'Oh isn't little Johnny cute the way he's kicking that man's chair. He's going to be a football player.'

    In any case, as a soon-to-be father, I'll be going to do my best never to let that happen....;)

  2. Congrats Nick on Fatherhood! I think you are right, that some parents have given up and become immune to it all. Which is probably even necessary sometimes for the survival of the parent & child. I don't really know. But I do know that public transportation is a hard place for little kids to endure for extended periods of time.

  3. I grew up in a military family in the 60s and 70s. We moved frequently and the military paid for our moving expenses. We had the privilege of being able to take a plane to our new home city instead of driving for days.

    My father always left before us to set up our home, so that left my mother to take care of two young children during the long journey.

    Things were different then. People actually dressed up to fly on a plane. My mother did her hair, wore an attractive, yet comfortable dress and selected our outfits carefully. My sister usually wore a simple dress and shiny patent leather shoes, I wore dress pants, a pressed shirt, a tiny blue blazer, and a clip on bow tie. We looked like we were going to church.

    We were fascinated by the trip, the plane, the stewardesses, and the excitement of a new home. We sat quietly, and if we spoke, we whispered. Just like in church as our mother told us to. I miss those days.

    It would be nice if children on planes still acted that way. It would also be nice if adults on planes still acted that way.

    I do get tired or adults wearing offensive t-shirts and flip flops. I get tired of men chewing tobacco and spitting it into a pop can. I get tired of the person next to me asking if they can shove their 40-pound backpack under the seat in front of me. I get tired of young women curling their hair and talking about oral sex with their bestie.

    It would be nice if we could all respect each other in that 19" seat where none of us want to be.

    1. I agree! And I love the imagery you've shared. It sounds like it was really quite lovely.


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